Lick, Sip, Suck
by Eagleye Blackheart
Summary: SiriusxRemus, The pair hold their own celebration over Sirius' 17th birthday, when the rest of the house is sleeping, with the wondrous muggle drink, tequila.


**Disclaimer: **And thus the heavens opened, and through the groan of moving clouds and creak of opening doors one could discern the words "Maurice owns nought in this story, nil, zilch, zip, zero. Except the idea, although that was probably used before her."

Thanks to NamelessOne for being my beta (AND the love of my life :P )

------

In the Era Of Marauding, long before there was ever any mention of one Harry Potter, teachers at the institution of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were blissfully unaware of modern muggle advancements in such areas as calculators, computers, parties and alcohol.

Until a time when these strict teachers caught wind of such trends, the sixth and seventh years were free to spend the evenings in any way they saw fit. Upon occasion this included a house party, generally in celebration of a momentous occasion. In this instance, it was the 17th birthday party of Sirius Black, prankster extraordinaire and school heartthrob.

XOXOXOX

Almond-shaped eyes had been watching the progression of the party for a few hours now. They crinkled often in amusement, but had widened in concern more than once. When this had happened, the owner of the eyes, one Remus Lupin, made his way over to the overly inebriated person, and gave them a hand up the steep stairs to the dormitory.

As a prefect, he felt he needed to do his bit to keep his fellow Gryffindors from ruining the common room carpet, and so had kept off the alcohol himself, despite his strong desire to join in the festivities. In consolation, he had promised himself that he could enjoy himself once the majority of the partygoers were oblivious to anything beyond their own drink-enhanced dreams.

As the hours dwindled by, the crowd of people thinned, and Remus could see the student of the hour, Sirius, in the centre of the room. It was a testimony to Sirius' high tolerance to alcohol that was he swinging his legs precariously close to an unconscious James' face and looking altogether unimpressed.

Making his way over to his friend, Remus covertly checked him for signs of inebriation. Satisified that he was only mildly tipsy, as deduced from the mainly straight oscillation of his legs, and focussed look in his eyes, he relaxed.

"Moony! I haven't seen you since this shindig started," the ever-enthusiastic Sirius shouted over snores.

"I've been doing my prefectly duties,' Remus explained ruefully. "You know I'd feel guilty if the carpet had vomit all over it in the morning."

"'S no fun Moony," Sirius reprimanded. "You deserve some fun!"

"And I can have some, now that there's no-one left to look after."

"Except me," The raven-head said indignantly.

"You're barely tipsy," Remus retorted.

"Its these wizard drinks," he explained morosely. "With my tolerance levels, I sober up before I can taste the stuff." Leaning in conspiratorially, he added "I've heard muggles have the art of intoxication down pat though."

Remus hesitated, quickly thinking an idea over. Realising his best friend's birthday was as good a time as any, he nodded to himself happily.

"Well, dear Padfoot, I could always let you find out the potency of muggle drinks for yourself."

"Eh?" If Sirius were a dog at that moment, his ears would have shot forwards.

"You know I spent last Christmas with my mum's muggle family? Well, they had this drink, and they were celebrating, and it all looked very fun. So, as any true Marauder would do, I swiped a bottle of it."

"Brilliant! Moony, you have the mind of a pranking genius!"

"That means so much to me," Remus laughed. "Now, transfigure me a lemon."

Sirius looked at him. "Sorry?"

"For the drink, moron."

"I love muggles!"

"I'm getting the salt," he said with a flick of his wand.

XOXOXOX

A mere ten minutes later, and they were seated crosslegged on Remus' bed in their dorm room, with the curtains drawn so any stray students wouldn't stumble across his precious tequila. James was unfortunately still passed out downstairs, and Peter was probably holed up with his new girlfriend somewhere.

"Now, dear Pads," said Remus with flourish, "I have to teach you how to do this muggle style. It's not hard once you've got the order in your head. Repeat after me; lick, sip, suck."

"Lick, sip, suck?"

"Exactly! Not so hard, eh?"

"So I'm licking what?" Sirius asked, with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Remus threw a pillow at him. "Haw haw. Okay, lick the _back_ of your _hand_ near the base of your thumb. Yes. Now bring it here and I put salt on it. That's the lick."

"The sip is the drink?"

"Yes, and the suck is the piece of lemon. Make sure you bite into it, because otherwise you don't get enough juice."

"But it's bad for the enamel on my teeth. I read it in the Daily Prophet."

"Do you believe everything you read?"

"When it concerns these babies I do!"

Remus laughed. "Now, the way they drank this at the party was just plain shots, but I was thinking we could play a game," he suggested, conjuring shot glasses, and pouring the drink into them.

"You're so structured Moony."

"Or we could just shoot," offered Remus quickly.

"No no, that was a compliment."

"I see..."

"Honestly, I never would've thought of that," said Sirius, grinning goofily. "I would've just wolfed it down and passed out, like usual. This is a better idea."

"Hmm… I was thinking maybe 'I Never' –"

Sirius whooped, spilling more than several drops of tequila on his lap, and Remus hastily threw a Silencing Charm on the curtains.

"Brilliant, Moony, Brilliant! We haven't played in ages, not since James admitted to trying to give a love potion to someone, and Evans almost bit his head off."

"You go first."

Sirius paused, thinking. "I never..."

"Come on, think quick," Remus urged after Sirius had been staring into space for a few minutes.

"It's hard to think of things!"

"Start off easy then! Like… I never ate two-minute noodles. Muggle food," he added quickly.

"Okay then. I never thought McGonagall was attractive." Remus left his shot glass where it was. "Damn! If you were James you would have drunk, I bet you."

"I changed my mind. Let's play word association, it's quicker."

"No! I hate that game; you always win," Sirius cried.

"You're taking too long to think of things for 'I Never', so it has to be word association. Torch."

"Conjure it yourself," Sirius said grumpily.

"No, it's the word you flobberbrain! Ready? Torch."

"Fire," Sirius grabbed at the curtain around Remus' bed, tangling his fingers in it unconsciously in his sudden anxiety, knowing this game would almost certainly end in tears or tantrums, or both.

"Light." Recognising the nervous habit, Remus grinned predatorily.

"Sun."

"Burn."

"Hot."

"Sex," Remus grimaced, knowing Sirius was excellent at finding words on that particular topic.

"Michael." Sirius put forward, as if it were a challenge.

"Small." Remus replied, eyes widening.

"What!"

"Haha!" cried Remus triumphantly. "Drink!"

"Did you mean what I thought you meant?" Sirius demanded, eyes popping slightly. "How did you know?"

Remus smiled mischievously, "Maybe I'll tell you later. You have to drink now."

Sirius licked his salt, drank the shot and bit hard into the lemon, all thoughts of Michael gone from his mind for a short while. "Holy shit Moony! That stuff's four times as strong as that green stuff Rosmerta sells!"

"You said you wanted to get drunk!" Remus answered, grinning. "Ready to play again?"

"Bring it on. Um... arm."

"Humerus."

"James," Sirius declared smugly.

Remus laughed appreciatively. "Stag."

"Hooves."

"Cowboy."

"John Wayne."

"Television."

Sirius' eyes showed dismay as he struggled to remember the muggle technicalities. "Ecletrical?," he tried, tugging on the curtain.

"That's not a word Padfoot! Drink!"

Sirius grinned, grabbing the salt and heartily engaging in the muggle ritual.

So the game continued, and the two made their way slowly through the bottle, becoming incredibly smashed as the liquid slowly dwindled, approaching the halfway mark.

"We should prolly leave some for 'nother people," Sirius remarked eventually. "Wha' says we each have one las' shot similta… simil… at the same time?"

"It's a plan." The smaller boy agreed, pouring the tequila into their respective shot glasses.

"On the coun' of three, ready? One…"

"Two."

"Five!"

"Three, milord!"

"Three!"

Bursting into laughter at their collective Monty Python wit, the pair sank back onto Remus' pillows. Relaxing, they both gazed up at the canopy of his four-poster, emersed in their own alcohol-enhanced thoughts. Sirius, musing vaguely over some of the weird connections between words they had found during the game, recalled there was something from the beginning of the game which he had wanted to ask his Moony about.

"So Moonhead, you 'member how we played that game once about the words and we had to drink muggles?

"Oh yep, the one which made us incredibly smashed?" Remus scrunched up his face in apparent concentration.

"Thassit. Well, at the first bit of that game you said Michael was something. Um… yellow?"

"Hufflepuff is yellow, Paddyfoot, not Michael. I don't like Michael much anymore, anyway," he announced, shifting to find a more comfortable angle for his head.

Moving to accommodate Remus' new position, he asked "Why Moony, why why why? Isn't he pretty?"

"Haha! Pretty he may be, but wait 'til you're close to him Padfoot! It was such a disappointment."

"Oh! You said 'small' Moony!" Sirius erupted into raucous laughter. "Y'mean he was _small_?"

Remus giggled. "Yes, I mean _small_ Padfoot. _Very_ small. "

"Hold your hippogriffs, Moony." Sirius struggled to put together a particularly complex coherent thought. "How d'you know that?"

Remus suddenly shifted uncomfortably. "I just do," he replied evasively.

"Well, I must say tha' I'm a wee bit jealous, Moonybrain," Sirius admitted gravely.

Remus gasped. "You like small people?" he exclaimed in horror.

"No, you Toe of Merlin! Wait, maybe. No, not anymore."

"What?"

"Maybe I _did_ like a small person, bu' I jus' proved how very shallow I am, because I discovered they were small and now I don' seem to have as great an affection for them anymore." Sirius could feel the effects of the alcohol wearing off slightly, emphasised by his re-emerging ability to talk like a 17-year-old human being. Or a 17-year-old Sirius, which is similar to a vague relative of the human being.

"Hey Moony, you know what I think that means?"

"Nope!" Remus, with his unfortunate werewolf metabolism, varied with Sirius in that he retained substances in his body for a longer period of time, thus prolonging his own drunken state. At this point in time Sirius felt grateful for this, because it meant he was free to abuse Remus' policy of total privacy in certain matters. Despite the amber-eyed boy's continued ability to enunciate properly, his mind was obviously still being influenced by the tequila.

"Well, I think it might mean we both like Michael."

"_Liked_." Remus emphasised the word to make sure there was no doubt in Sirius' mind.

"Right. This must mean that we both have similar taste in people right?"

"Right."

"Weird," he said, thinking about the probability of such an unusual occurance applying to the both of them.

"Right," Remus sniggered.

Sirius glanced at him, concerned abruptly. "You'd better go to sleep, Moonface, 'cause you're going to be a nightmare in the morning." He got up, planning to make his way to his own bed.

"Wait Sirius!" Remus cried. "I just realised you have eyes!"

Sirius turned said eyes skyward. "It took him _how_ many years to notice?" he asked himself in amusement.

"No, no, I mean they're all funny looking. Blue-grey. Never seen eyes like that."

"Of course you have," Sirius replying with an amused but knowing gleam in his eye. "Heaps of people have eyes like mine. That fifth year, Rebecca; her eyes are identical."

"I like your's better," Remus stated firmly.

"Thanks Moony," Sirius smiled, starting to walk off again.

"Wait!"

Grinning, the newly 17-year-old remarked; "If I didn't know better Moony, I'd say you were trying to get me to stay for a less than appropriate reason."

Remus snorted indignantly and inelegantly. "Am not."

"Oh. Well in that case I'll go to bed then shall I?"

Remus shook his head violently. "Nuhuh. Come on Padfeet, stay here." He gave a sweet, pleading smile.

"Oh MoonyMcMoon, what will we do with you?" Sirius laughed as he once again lay down with his head on Remus' pillows, looking intently at his friend-who-might-not-be-just-a-friend-for-much-longer. He unknowingly grasped the curtain again with his right hand. "Here is good?"

"Perfect," Remus replied, not so subtly walking his fingers up to stop near Sirius chest. "Guess what."

"What?" 

"I've decided you're much more interesting than Michael," stated Remus with a sly look at Sirius, observing the hand entwined in the curtain.

Sirius shuffled closer to Remus, brushing against the fingers which had been so eager to make contact with him before. Their eyes locked together as Sirius brought his hand up to touch the side of Remus' pale neck. Leaning in, the darker boy rested his face at the crook of Remus' neck, so close his tongue could slip out and touch his friend, while light brown hair brushed his cheek.

"Here is good?" he repeated coyly.

"Even better," Remus said breathlessly.

For a while, Sirius enjoyed lying there, smelling the bookish smell that was Remus, and listening to his quickened breathe and heartbeat.

Pulling away momentarily to gaze at his Moony, their eyes met again, and he couldn't resist the temptation. Sirius leant in swiftly and crushed his face against his friend's, lips possibly meeting with each other, but it was hard to tell. Their teeth clicked together and noses re-enacted World War II, but it was a thoroughly enjoyable affair for both participants. As Sirius opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, Remus ran his hands through the other boy's long, rumpled hair. Eventually surfacing for the sake of the unfortunate bodily requirement of oxygen, they leant back on the pillows, breathing heavily through red lips.

"What makes you think I'm more interesting?" Sirius asked unexpectedly.

Remus smirked over at him. "I bet you're bigger."

Sirius laughed and attacked his Moony again. _If this is what came of muggle drinks_, he thought to himself, _they would have to make sure Moony swiped some every holiday_.

------

Please review, I beg of thee, for I am merely a beginning author and would truly appreciate any input or suggestions.


End file.
